ANNIE HERINGER – New York – 2008

Malcolm was here today -the whole weekend actually,
but today I got to spend the most time with him.
Still it wasn’t enough time to really catch up.
When we were walking through the park after the
Whitney, I felt like we had forever left to talk.
Then Columbus Circle, then the long train ride to
Grand Street. Suddenly, it was almost time to meet
our friends for dinner and I found myself talking
with my mouth full, trying to enjoy a honeydew
custard while quickly running through the last dark
months of my life.

A TV in the bakery we were in was broadcasting a
Chinese game show with all sorts of wacky
challenges. One of them was to blow out a line of candles through a piece of nylon stretched onto a frame. Each participant lunged towards the candles
blowing as hard as they could against the nylon,
which distorted their faces in amazingly hilarious
ways. I laughed so hard, I started crying. But then
I couldn’t stop and I realized I was actually
crying so hard, I was laughing. Each tear was a
strong cocktail of emotion squeezed through my face.
I don’t think Malcolm really understood what was
happening and I was just glad I could laugh and
cover up my complete sadness.